Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize