She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
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is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
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I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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