I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
