I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
