i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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