Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
