So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
