that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I want to fling myself into the sun
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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