if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Then you guys just all showered together...?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
