She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
