haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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