the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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