bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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