Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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