seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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