I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
