so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
