and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
