every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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