i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize