ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
