Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
