So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
