Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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