I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
