Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
