That's when you crack a 10am beer
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
