everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Randomize
