Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
