so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
