I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
