Someone shit on the floor
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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