I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
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I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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