Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
