dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
