Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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