new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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