The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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