And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
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At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
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I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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