You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
