You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
