I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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