Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
