I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
