Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
