I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
