So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
