remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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