it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
