I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
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Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
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So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize