jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize