i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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