Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
