I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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