Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
