Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
