So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
