had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
