Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
