i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
