ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
