is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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