i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
