Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Can Purell be used as lube?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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