Christians are straight up FREAKS
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
